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Outfit-Advice: Barack Obama X Hurrikan “Sandy”

 

Floods have always been the election campaign booster. Gerhard Schröder knows that quite well, since the flooding of the Elbe in 2002 secured his re-election as chancellor. Before the flood that was not at all a given.

The same goes for Obama being re-elected as president of the USA. His competitor Mitt Romney is surprisingly strong and manages to win over votes beyond the Republican realm.

Hurricane ‘Sandy’, that was plowing through New York last night is providing Barack Obama with an excellent opportunity to prove himself as a hands-on crisis manager and man of the people.

We’re attempting a recommendation for an outfit that suits the occasion, copied one-to-one from Gerhard ‘Acker’ Schröder:

1)   Since Obama still is a statesman who will obviously not change solely for his helper mission he should wear a white shirt, the key piece of any western politician’s uniform. He should drop the tie since a hurricane requires straight-on tackling of the issues. A tie would just be redundant here.

2)   The black suit pants, also a standard in the politicians’ wardrobe, is tucked into the rubber boots. The color of the boots is especially important: Yellow would be too obvious and too staged, so it has to be black. To make clear nonetheless that it’s rubber boots, however, that he is wearing, Obama should perhaps just wade through a mud puddle without hesitation.

3)   Moving on to the most essential part of the helper’s wardrobe, the raincoat. This piece of clothing can singlehandedly decide the re-election. A subtle, yet obvious outdoor color is important. Mud green (olive) is perfect! Whoever put that jacket on Schröder back then at the Elbe is a genius. It is also crucial that the raincoat is slightly too big. That’s supposed to send the signal: It’s not about the perfect fit or great looks. In such existential moments like these the chancellor is not concerned with his appearance as he is (obviously) saving those affected from further hardship here.

We don’t know about the relationship between Schröder and Obama or whether they have even met in person. Should that be the case though, we advise Schorsch Schröder to send a Care package with his original outfit to Obama as quickly as possible.

Should they not know each other, or Schröder can’t be bothered to go to the post office we’ll just assume that Obama’s consultants regularly read DANDY DIARY and recommend them to use our ‘Outfit guide to repeatedly win the elections in the case of a flood’ as guidance. Yes, you can!

Von: Jakob

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Million Dollar Deal: PUMA wants Rihanna as a Designer

The german sportswear-manufcatorer PUMA is currently vying for a favour by RIHANNA. Rumours say that the enterprise from Herzogenaurach has offered the barbadian singer more than a million dollars, if she designs for PUMA

So far, so uninteresting.

In case that Rihanna accepts the offer, she would not only be a designer for PUMA, which has already been done by Beoncé’s sister Solange Knowles, but would also mean that she is not allowed to wear clothes by ADIDAS anymore from the moment of signing the contract, on. That is written in the contract between PUMA and Riri, if you want to believe some insiders.

We think that something like that is really great. On one side, because it is very amusing, that the enmity, which started in 1948, between ADIDAS and PUMA, is still on-going. On the other side, because we hope, that that goes along with Jeremy Scott losing his job as a designer for ADIDAS. Rihanna is one of the most consistent promoters of his horribly loud designs.

 

Von: Julian

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Lumbersexuality – simply fat, old Hipster!

After metrosexuality and spornosexuality, is it lumbersexuality going to be in?

Media as The GuardianThe Daily Beast and Buzzfeed presented ‘lumbersexual’ as the ‘next big thing’. Men with enormous beards and bellies in lumber-shirts, in work-boots, with wool-beanies on their heads and a freshly tapped beer in their hand.

But is that really the new trend? Men, who combine checked patterns with checked patterns, and who look like they have chucked some trees in the wood. No, not really. The look has been existing in the gay-scene for years (‘bears’ or ‘cubs’).

Plus we already know about the core-elements of the look (beard, lumber-shirt) from the hipster-scene. The picture (view the photo), which was used to express lumber-sexuality in a photo, has also been used to present the usual example of a hipster to their readers.

The hipster already was an anti-movement to the metro. The man became a man again. Sun-studios, picked eye-browes or shaved chests – all in all a no-go for the hipster. ‘Lumbersexuality’ is therefore no new anti-movement to metrosexuality, as it is celebrated in the media, but simply a continuation of the hipster-movement.

Therefore an old, fat hipster, who is drinking beer the whole day and who is just to distinguish by experts of ‘gay bears’. Therefore: no ‘next big thing’!

Von: Julian

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